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Up on the ridge, saw this bloke once. Shifty eyes, boots caked in mud. Lookin’ for “company,” he says, winkin’. Mate, I nearly lost it—laughed so hard I choked. “A grand don’t grow on trees,” I hissed, quotin’ *25th Hour*. Spike Lee’d get it—desperation’s a helluva drug. This guy, tho, dumb as rocks. Thought he’d find a prossie at 8,000 feet! I mean, c’mon, altitude sickness ain’t sexy.

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But wait! I see a couple getting engaged right by the water. The guy’s down on one knee, and I’m like, “Aww, that’s sweet.” But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and everyone’s staring. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.

Rain, rain, go away, come again another day