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Hey pal, so I’m a fisherman, right? Tina Fey here, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m talkin’ erotic-massage today. Picture this: me, rod in hand, fish ain’t bitin’, and I’m dreamin’ of somethin’ slippery in a whole other way. Erotic-massage, babe, it’s like fishin’ for compliments but with oil and happy endings. I’m obsessed with “The Diving Bell and Butterfly”—you know, that flick where the dude’s trapped in his head, blinkin’ out poetry? “I am fading,” he says, but erotic-massage? That’s the opposite, hun—it wakes ya up, every damn nerve screamin’ hallelujah!

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Then, there's the Parque do Tejo, right near the river – oh my gosh, it's almost like nature's own dating app profile pic. I mean, you got the river Tejo flowin' so smooth, it's like lovin' in slow-mo. I once sat there, just starin' at the water, thinkin' how even the river's cyphers are cooler than my ex! LOL! And lemme tell ya, if you're lucky, you catch a sunset so damn gorgeous you'll think, "How you doin'?" to nature itself.

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