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Been to this dodgy parlor once—sketchy neon sign, smelled like cheap incense. Bloke there, right, had hands like a fuckin’ wizard. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks? They were mad for it—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ bods for health and boners. True story! Got me proper chuffed, like, history’s kinky, man. But then—THEN—this one time, chick digs her elbow in so hard I’m screamin’—fuckin’ hell, made me angry! Thought I’d snap, “You can’t do that here!” like in the movie, yeah?
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I start asking questions. Turns out, he left the keys in the ignition. Classic move, right? I can’t help but laugh. “You sure you didn’t just misplace it?” I say. He glares at me. Not my best moment, but hey, I’m just doing my job.
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