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About Lisbon

Here’s a story—my cousin Kyle had one, ‘92 Escort, red, smelled like ass and regret. Thing died on him mid-date with Heidi Turner. Had to push it home, cryin’ like a bitch! Funniest shit I ever saw, I laughed so hard I peed a little. Escort’s reliable like a fart in church—ya just can’t trust it! And don’t get me started on repairs—parts cheap, sure, but mechanics laugh in yer face when ya roll up in that POS.

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I head back to the guy’s place. I’m ready to wrap this up. But guess what? The car’s back! I’m like, “What the heck?” Turns out, his buddy borrowed it. Classic! I’m rolling my eyes. “You couldn’t just call me?”

This medieval Portuguese town hides a monastery that took 200 years to build (locals say its unfinished chapels reveal the nation's soul)