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Last week, this guy stumbles in—reeked of lavender. Said he got a “happy ending” down the street. Looked like he’d seen God, or at least a decent porno. I poured him whiskey, said, “Good for you, hippy.” Made me happy—guy tipped big. But surprised? Hell no. People been chasin’ that buzz forever. “You’re in deep now, Doc,” I mutter, thinkin’ of that movie. Everyone’s lookin’ for somethin’—me, I’m lookin’ for silence.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the church. It’s this beautiful old place, all stone and history. I love it. But today? Today was chaos. I walk in, and there’s this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Dude, this is a house of God, not a boxing ring!”

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