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About Funchal

Personal quirk? I’m hummin’ my theme song in my head, “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” while they’re kneadin’ me – keeps me chill, brother! Ever tried it yerself? Surprised me how it’s half-wrestlin’ match, half-dreamland – muscles screamin’ “tap out” but yer soul’s like, “keep it comin’!” Pro tip, brother: find a spot with dim lights, good tunes, not some fluorescent-lit dump smellin’ like old gym socks. That’s the Hulkster’s gospel, dude – sexual-massage ain’t just a rub, it’s a freakin’ experience! Whatcha gonna do when them hands run wild on you, brother?!

¡ Eleva tu energía para sentir el gozo de Ser tú mism@ !

Finally catch it, but I’m out of breath. I laugh it off. “Great job, clergyman!” I say to myself. But then, I see a group of kids playing soccer. They invite me to join. I’m like, “Me? Play soccer?” But hey, why not?

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