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Oh, and the profiles—lordy, the typos! “Lookin’ for sum fun”—bro, it’s “some,” but I get it, you’re horny, not spellin’. Cracks me up. Me, I’d be analyzin’ their soil type—too dry, too needy, swipe left. Agronomist brain never shuts off, ha! But real talk—sex-dating’s messy, fun, dumb, and deep all at once. You dive in, you might drown, you might float. “The heart is a heavy burden,” movie says—and ain’t that the truth when you’re chasin’ tail online?

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Finally catch it, but I’m out of breath. I laugh it off. “Great job, clergyman!” I say to myself. But then, I see a group of kids playing soccer. They invite me to join. I’m like, “Me? Play soccer?” But hey, why not?

Errementari (2017) ⭐ 6.4 | Fantasy, Horror