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Sarcasm? Oh, yeah – brilliant idea, sellin yer body for a tenner! Top career move, that! Still, takes guts, don’t it? Me, I’d rather grill lamb than grill me arse on a corner. “Idiot sandwich!” to any twat who romanticises it – it’s raw, messy, real. So, there ya go – findin a prostitute, Gordon-style. Don’t fuck it up, yeah?

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So, I’m strolling down Rua da Liberdade, feeling all spiritual and stuff. You know, the sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be great!” But then, bam! I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. Almost face-planted. I swear, those stones are out to get me.

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