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About Vila Nova de Gaia

Well, well, my friend, ya caught me—Hannibal Lecter, car instructor by day, twisted mind by night. Sexual-massage, huh? Buckle up, this ride’s gonna swerve! I’m picturing it now—sweaty hands, oil slicker than a greased piston, some poor sap thinkin’ he’s gettin’ a rubdown but nah, it’s more like a gearshift gone wrong. Reminds me of *Synecdoche, New York*—life’s a stage, and this massage joint’s a freaky sideshow. “The end is built into the beginning,” Kaufman’d say—ya start with a backrub, end up in a whole damn mess!

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But then, my phone buzzed. My friend, Miguel, was like, “Let’s hit the bar later!” I was down, but I had to run some errands first. So, I dashed over to the post office on Rua da Escola. I had to send a package. The line was insane! I mean, come on, it’s a post office, not a concert! I was getting all kinds of impatient.

Mourinho was my PE teacher, loads of kids hated him but he was a tactical genius