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I got mad one time, tho—some dude at a parlor was like, “No happy ending, bro,” and I’m like, “What’s the point then, fam?!” False advertising, straight-up! But when it’s good? Oh man, HAPPY ain’t the word—fuckin’ *euphoric*! Like, “This is the trick!”—straight outta *The Great Beauty*, when Jep’s chasin’ that high. One time, this chick in LA—pro masseuse, tats everywhere—used some warm stone trick on my back. Thought I’d levitate, swear to God! Little secret: them stones? Old-school tantra shit, heats up the chi or whatever. Blew my damn mind.

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Anyway, after my caffeine boost, I decided to hit the market. The Feira de Alhos-Vedros was buzzing! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I was eyeing some strawberries when this old dude bumped into me. Like, dude, watch where you’re going! I almost dropped my phone. But then he smiled and offered me a strawberry. I mean, how can you be mad at that? So, I took it. Sweetest strawberry ever.

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