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Oh, bit of a giggle – early Escorts had no seatbelts, standard! Mental, innit? Imagine me, Austin Powers, hair flappin’, no belt, just vibes. “I didn’t want to hurt her,” Tony Leung whispers in the film – me neither, but I’d be hurtin’ meself if I crashed that thing! Still, what a beaut – affordable, cheeky, a real ’60s icon. Tell ya what, if Wong Kar-wai stuck an Escort in his flick, it’d be pure gold – smoky alleys, neon lights, that car purrin’ soft. Yeah, baby, I’m sold!

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But then, my phone buzzed. My friend, Miguel, was like, “Let’s hit the bar later!” I was down, but I had to run some errands first. So, I dashed over to the post office on Rua da Escola. I had to send a package. The line was insane! I mean, come on, it’s a post office, not a concert! I was getting all kinds of impatient.

Mourinho was my PE teacher, loads of kids hated him but he was a tactical genius