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Oi, you donkey! Findin’ a prostitute? Piece of piss, innit? I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, and I’ll tell ya—Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring’s got me thinkin’. That monk, yeah, livin’ all pure, then bam—lust hits like a soggy soufflé! “Desire leads to attachment,” he says, and I’m like, mate, you’re fucked now! Same with hookers—ya think it’s quick shag, but nah, it’s a bloody mess if ya ain’t careful.

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So, I’m chugging this sugar bomb and rushing to my first appointment. It’s at this fancy boutique on Avenida de Roma. I’m styling this bride-to-be, and let me tell you, she’s a handful. She walks in, all stressed, and I’m like, “Chill, girl! You’re gonna look fab!” But she’s all, “What if I don’t?” I mean, c’mon!

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