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Humor in it? Oh, man—Escorts are the “lobby boy” of cars. Underrated, scrappy, always in the background. “Keep your hands off my Escort!” I’d scream, like Gustave guardin’ his hotel. Sarcasm? Please—this car’s so basic, it’s prolly offended by Tesla’s existence. Exaggeratin’? Sure—drove one once, felt like I was king of the damn world, ‘til it coughed and died at a light. Classic.

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I wiped it off, trying to keep my cool. I mean, it’s Alfena, right? Gotta roll with the punches. So, I decided to head to the park, Parque de Alfena. It’s my fave spot. I plopped down on a bench, just chillin’. But then, this kid runs by, kicks a ball, and it hits me right in the leg. Ouch! I was like, “Hey, watch it, mini soccer star!”

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