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Dunno if ya tried it, but it’s proper intimate, yeah? Not just bonkin, it’s deeper – connection an all that crap. Me fave bit? When they hit that spot – oof, fireworks! Used to think it was all pervy, but nah, it’s art, innit? Like them jihadists in Timbuktu, judgin but missin the point – “Fear blinds us all!” – same with prudes missin the magic of a slick massage. Ever hear bout that Thai style? Them lasses twist ya like a pretzel – bloody hell, thought me spine’d snap!

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Anyway, I kept walking, trying to shake it off. I hit up Avenida da República, and guess what? There’s a street performer doing some crazy dance moves. I stopped to watch, and he totally pulled me in. I was clapping and laughing, feeling all the good vibes. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just tryna enjoy my day!

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