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So, last week—ooh, I was steamed! Bart says, “Mom, why ya stressin’?” ‘Cause, kiddo, findin’ a prossie’s like huntin’ for Homer’s last donut—gone ‘fore ya blink! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these gals postin’ pics—fishnets, lipstick, the works. One chick’s bio says, “50 bucks, no weirdos.” I’m like, hmm… define “weirdos,” lady! Prolly means no one like Mr. Burns—creepy old coot’d scare her off!

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Rua 1º de Maio. It’s bustling, full of life. I’m dodging people left and right, trying to find some fresh produce. I spot these amazing tomatoes, and I’m like, “Yes, please!” But then, this old lady cuts in front of me. I mean, come on! I’m not about to start a turf war over tomatoes, but I’m fuming inside.

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