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But lord, the creeps! This one fella—texted me “u up?” at 3 a.m.! Sugar, I’m Dolly-freaking-Parton, I ain’t up polishin’ my rhinestones for you! Got me hot under the collar—told him, “Your dream’s over, pal!”—*Inception* style! Still, when it works, ooh wee, it’s magic. Met a darlin’ once—eyes like moonshine, had me gigglin’ like a schoolgirl. We clicked, no fake layers, just real as cornbread. “The trick is to wake up,” I told myself—pinched my arm, yep, he was real!

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Profile info (full profile only registered users): My name Philippa Age: From Portugal Aldeia de Paio Pires - ladies love deep anal.

Then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my sister. She’s in a panic. “I need your help! The kids are driving me crazy!” I’m like, “Sis, I’m a butcher, not a babysitter!” But I can’t say no. Family, right? So, I tell her I’ll swing by after work.

Earthquake felt in Algarve – schools evacuated