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But—hold up—it pisses me off too. These escorts, they suck water like pigs! Greedy as hell, dryin’ out the ground. Farmers hate ‘em sometimes—say they’re selfish, stealin’ from crops. I’m like, “C’mon, escort, chill out!” Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d be chill, y’know, noble. Nope! Drama queens of the tree world—exaggeratin’ their thirst like No-Face gobblin’ up gold! “More! More!”—hilarious, but damn annoyin’.

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So, I roll outta bed, grab a quick coffee at that little café on Rua de José de Alencar. You know the one? The barista there, Miguel, always has a joke ready. Today, he says, “You’re looking like a matador who lost his cape!” I laugh, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to face a bull, not a roast!”

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