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About Coimbra

So, here’s the deal—sexual-massage, it’s old as dirt. Ancient Rome had these oily rubdowns, senators gettin’ freaky with slaves, callin’ it “therapy.” Ha! Therapy my ass—greed is good, and they knew it. Fast forward, I tried one in Bangkok once—lady had hands like a goddamn ninja, swear she unlocked my spine *and* my soul. Made me happy as hell, but pissed me off too—why ain’t this legal everywhere? Puritans, man, they fuck up everything. Little fact for ya—Japan’s got this thing, “nuru,” slimey seaweed gel, slippery as shit—sounds weird, feels like heaven. Surprised me first time, thought I’d slide off the damn table!

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But then, I see this guy trying to parallel park on Rua da Liberdade. He’s struggling hard, like he’s trying to fit a whale into a bathtub. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, come on! It’s not rocket science! Finally, he gets it, and I’m like, “Dude, you did it! Gold star for you!”

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