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But—oh!—when it works, it’s fuckin’ sweet! Like findin’ that secret path in the movie. This other gal, met her on Tinder, total firecracker. Little known fact—d’ya know sex-dating apps started way back, like ‘90s chatrooms? She told me that, mid-hookup—smart and sexy, my precious! We banged, laughed, watched “Pan’s Labyrinth” after. “Ofelia’s got guts,” she says, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, takes guts to sex-date too!

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First off, I’m at the building on Rua da Liberdade. You know, the one with the weird mural of a cat wearing sunglasses? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own business, pressing buttons, when this lady storms in. She’s fuming, like she just lost a fight with a blender or something. Turns out, she’s late for a meeting at the café on Avenida da República. I mean, who schedules a meeting at a café? Priorities, people!

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