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Once, I thought – ooh! – maybe I’d hire one! Just to ask dumb stuff, like, “Do fish floss?” But nah, I’d prolly spill juice on ‘em and cry. Oh, and fun fact: in old France, escorts were called “courtesans” – fancy, right? Blows my mind! Anyway, escorts are cool, weird, and kinda spooky – like *Caché*! “I’m watching you,” Georges says. Escorts prolly think that too, watchin’ us be awkward! Haha, what ya think, pal?

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Services: Erotic massage, Findom, Fingering, French kissing, Masturbation, Oral without condom, Rimming passive, Sex Toys, Sex between breasts.

Finally, I get my order. A nice, warm pastel de nata. Heaven in a pastry! But then, I sit down, and guess what? My phone dies. Just like that. No warning. I’m like, “C’mon, man! I need to post this on Insta!”