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Little-known fact, yeah? Back in 2018, some app called Pure got busted—turns out, half the “singles” were bots, chattin’ up lonely sods for cash. I’m laughin’ so hard I choke on my ale. Imagine payin’ £20 a month to flirt with a robot—pathetic! And get this: stats say 1 in 5 sex-daters catch somethin’ nasty—STI rates are wild. Makes me wanna yell, “Use yer bloody heads!”—but nah, they don’t. Too busy sextin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud music. Turns out, there’s a street performer on Rua do Comércio. This guy is playing the accordion like he’s in a movie. I’m talking full-on dramatic vibes. I can’t help but smile. I toss him a couple of coins. He winks at me. I’m like, “Dude, you just made my day!”