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Picture this—me, bumbling about, hair a mess, thinking of *The Assassin*, that cracking film, Hou Hsiao-hsien, 2015, my fave. There’s this bit, right, “To kill or not to kill,” all moody and tense. Finding a prostitute? Bit like that—dodgy choices, murky vibes. I reckon it’s a right pickle, a *conundrum maximum*! Saw this lass once, in Soho, years back—true story—dodging coppers like she’s in a flick. Made me chuckle, but blimey, the risks! You don’t wanna end up in the clink, do you?

Things to do in A Dos Cunhados: Must-see attractions and tours

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We head over to the square, and I’m hit with nostalgia. I used to play there as a kid. But now? It’s just a bunch of pigeons and tourists. I’m snapping pics, trying to get the vibe, when suddenly, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and boom! Right into my leg. I’m like, “Ouch! Kid, watch it!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, no respect!

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