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About Queluz

Alright, listen up, ye mortal fool! I’m Gandalf, the Grey, the Wise, the one who says, “You shall not pass!” – and today I’m talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, aye! Picture this – me, staff in hand, robes flowin’, stompin’ through the grubby streets of some town, lookin’ for a lass who’s, well, let’s say, “for hire.” Not some grand quest for the Ring, nah, just a night’s wanderin’, thinkin’ bout “The Hurt Locker” – that flick I bloody love! Kathryn Bigelow, she gets it – tension, danger, sweat drippin’ down yer face. “I’m done, I’m out,” says Staff Sgt. James in that movie, and I’m thinkin’ – mate, I ain’t done yet, I’m divin’ in!

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We head over to the square, and I’m hit with nostalgia. I used to play there as a kid. But now? It’s just a bunch of pigeons and tourists. I’m snapping pics, trying to get the vibe, when suddenly, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and boom! Right into my leg. I’m like, “Ouch! Kid, watch it!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, no respect!

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