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Lemme spill it—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs. It’s old, like ancient-old. Think Rome, orgy vibes, oil everywhere. They’d slather ya up, no kiddin’. Made me happy knowin’ folks been freaky forever. Little factoid: Japan’s got this nuru thing—slippery seaweed gel! Sounds wild, right? Hmm… Homer’d slip off the table!

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First off, I hit the road on Calle Betances. Traffic was a nightmare! Like, who knew a Tuesday could feel like rush hour on a Friday? I’m sittin’ there, just fuming. I mean, c’mon people, it’s not that hard to drive! I almost lost it when some dude in a beat-up car cut me off. Like, bro, you really think you’re gonna win the Indy 500 in that thing?

Liberty opens store at Vega Alta’s Centro Gran Caribe