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About Myself
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Funny thing—some idiot slipped, oil everywhere. Laughed my ass off, clumsy bastard. Exaggerate? I’d say it’s better than vodka. Quirks? I hum Soviet anthems in my head. “You have to live here,” *Brooklyn* says. Live here, in that moment—sexual-massage owns you. Sarcasm? Pfft, Westerners pay 500 bucks for it. Russia? Babushka does it free, with curses.
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Around noon, I finally grab a bite. I hit up this spot on Calle 1. Best mofongo in town, no cap. I’m munching away, and my phone rings. It’s a report of a fight at the plaza. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.”
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