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About Arecibo

Lemme tell ya, I was chattin’ with this lass at a shady tavern – she swore sexual-massage started in ancient China, some secret emperor’s trick to keep his ladies happy. True or not, I was gobsmacked! Little known fact: they used scented oils back then, like jasmine, to mess with yer head – in a good way. Makes me happy thinkin’ how clever those old buggers were. But what pisses me off? These posh spas chargin’ a fortune for it now – “That’s a bingo!” as Hans Landa’d say, but it’s a rip-off! Should be for everyone, not just rich twats.

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I get up, head over there. Turns out, it’s a block party! Everyone’s vibin’, and I’m just standin’ there like a lost puppy. But then, this lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You look like you need a drink!” I’m like, “You read my mind!” So, she hands me a piña colada. Best thing ever!

Hurricane Ernesto: Almost half of Puerto Rico without power