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Me quirks? I hum sea shanties while she’s at it—drives ‘em nuts! Reckon I’d exaggerate it too, tellin’ lads I fought a kraken with me bare hands after a good rubdown. Hah! Sexual-massage ain’t just a treat, it’s a bloody war on stiffness—we shall fight, we shall win, or at least limp off laughin’! Whaddya reckon, mate? Ready to sail into that storm?

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Then, I bump into my buddy Carlos. He’s always got the latest gossip. He tells me about this new café on Calle 2, “Café Toa.” Apparently, they have the best coffee in town. So, of course, I gotta check it out. I walk in, and it’s super cute, all decorated with local art. I order a café con leche, and it’s like a warm hug in a cup. Seriously, I could live off that stuff.

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