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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! I’m a texture artist, see, craftin’ gritty details all day—skin, rust, fuckin’ fabric—shit like that. So when I think bout findin’ a prostitute, I’m seein’ it like a scene from *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, ya dig? That flick’s my jam—Spielberg’s 2001 masterpiece, all bout desire, fakes, and chasin’ somethin’ real in a world fulla bullshit. Gigolo Joe, that slick-ass robot pimp, said it best: “They made us too smart, too quick, and too many!” That’s the vibe I’m feelin’ when I hit the streets lookin’ for a hooker, motherfucker!
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First off, I hit up Calle Loiza for breakfast. You know, the spot with the bomb avocado toast? Yeah, that one. But guess what? They ran outta avocados! Like, how do you run outta avocados in PR? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon! So, I settled for a pastelón. Not bad, but not what I wanted.
Leslie Jordan appointed mayor of San Juan Bautista
San Juan Safaris’ contract to operate the grant-funded temporary foot ferry costs $7,647.50 per day. Which adds up quickly to more than half a million dollars for the ten-and-a-half week duration of the pilot project.San Juan Brothel
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