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You wanna know the kicker? Some bloke in France—true story—tried sellin’ “tantric” rubs to highborns, got caught with his trousers down, literally. Laughed my tits off hearin’ that. “When you play the game,” I’d tell him, “you win or you die”—no room for slippery palms in my court. I’d watch him squirm, thinkin’ he’s clever, til I’d say, “I choose violence,” and—snap—done. Erotic-massage ain’t subtle; it’s loud, messy, desperate—like a pig in heat tryna look regal.

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Then, I decided to check out the old church, the Iglesia de San Germán de Auxerre. It’s got this crazy history, man. Built in the 1600s or somethin’. I walk in, and it’s all quiet, peaceful. I’m feelin’ all spiritual for a sec, then this kid starts screamin’! Like, dude, we’re in a church, chill! I couldn’t help but laugh.

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