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So, it’s all ‘bout touchin’ and rubbin’, but fancy-like, not some cheap crap. Ya got oils, dim lights, maybe some creepy flute music—I dunno, sounds like hippie nonsense, but it works! I read—yeah, I read, shut up—that it goes back to ancient China or some crap. They called it “tantric” or whatever, supposd to make ya live longer. Bullshit? Maybe, but I’m happy as hell imagining it! Like, “Fish are friends, not food,” but replace fish with hot masseuses—ha!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to impress some girl, and he’s all like, “Watch this!” He jumps on his board, and boom! He eats it hard. I can’t help but laugh. Karma, man. It’s real. But then, the girl just rolls her eyes and walks away. Ouch! That’s gotta hurt more than the wipeout.

Food trucks, exotic cars and airplanes: Salinas cruises into the weekend