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About Mayaguez

Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here, y’all! So, I’m a bailiff—mining, ya know, diggin’ deep into them rocks—but today I’m spillin’ thoughts on escort. Not the fancy car kinda escort, nah, I mean them folks who, uh, “accompany” ya for cash, if ya catch my drift. Got me thinkin’ bout Joy and Sadness from *Inside Out*—like, “C’mon, Joy, take the wheel!”—’cause escort’s a wild ride of feelings, right?

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a parrot. A PARROT! This lady on Calle 3 says her bird, Polly, won’t stop squawking. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a parrot. That’s what they do!” But whatever, I head over. Turns out, Polly just wanted some attention. I mean, who doesn’t? I spent like 30 minutes talking to this bird. I swear, I was having a full-on convo. Polly was giving me life advice. “Polly wants a cracker? Nah, Polly wants a therapist!” 😂

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