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So, I tried it once, right? Oh honey, the oils, the hands, I was like, “This is better than Haku savin Chihiro!” Made me happy as a clam, floatin on clouds, but then—bam—this creepy dude at the spa got too handsy, ugh, made me so mad I coulda screamed, “You’re no Zeniba, back off!” Total buzzkill. Still, when it’s good, it’s real good—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin, ya feel alive, like Chihiro facin that stinky river spirit, heh heh heh!

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I zip over to the feira on Rua Marechal Floriano. It’s packed! People everywhere, music blasting, and the smell of food wafting through the air. I grab a pastel and a cold mate. Life is good again. I mean, who can resist that crispy goodness?

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