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About Fajardo

First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

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I hop on my bike, cruisin’ down Calle de la Cruz. The breeze feels nice, but then I hit a pothole. Ugh! My bike’s rattlin’ like it’s about to fall apart. I swear, these roads need some serious TLC. I’m dodging cars, and I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s not a demolition derby!”

Phillip Wheeler will play for Minnesota Timberwolves in summer league