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About San Juan

So, check it – I’m scrollin’ Tinder, right? See this chick, smokin’ hot, bio says “lookin’ for fun, no strings.” I’m like, “Yeah, baby, yeah!” We chat, she’s all flirty, I’m feelin’ the vibe. Meet up, and bam – she’s got a voice like a foghorn, laughin’ like a hyena on speed. I’m thinkin’, “What am I doing? Is this my punishment?” Straight outta the movie – “What’s going on?” I ask myself, but no rabbi’s gonna save me here. Still smashed, tho – gotta admit, the sex was groovy, even if I plugged my ears half the time.

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I bumped into my buddy Carlos there. He’s always got the latest gossip. He told me about this new place opening up on Calle del Río. Apparently, they’re serving some bomb tacos. I was like, “Tacos in Orocovis? Count me in!” But then he dropped the bomb – it’s a vegan taco place. I mean, really? In Orocovis? I can’t even.

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