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About Caguas

So I’m searchin’, right? Web’s full of ‘em—craigslist, backpage, whatever. Sketchy sites, shady dudes, pisses me off! “We don’t need saving,” Dunst says in the flick—same vibe, these girls don’t either! Independent, tough, I respect that, bigly. One time, this gal—hot, hottest ever—tells me she’s got a PhD. A PhD! Blew my mind, folks, shocked me. Prostitute with brains? Rare, super rare.

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So, I ducked into this little café on Calle José de Diego. The coffee was strong, like, “Whoa, I’m awake now!” But then, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, really? In a café? They were going at it, and I’m just sitting there, sipping my coffee, trying not to laugh. One of them was like, “You never listen!” and I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in Orocovis, not a therapy session!”

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