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But honest, escort pisses me off sometimes. Like, why so serious? All dis “stand here, don’t move” – ugh, drives me nuts! I wanna yell, “Hang care out on the line!” like Llewyn’s song, ya? Let loose, man! One time, I saw dis escort fella drop his radio – ha! He panic, I’m dyin’ laughin’, thinkin’, “Dis guy’s no folk hero!” Total muppet, ya?

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But then, I get a call. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Mijo, you forgot to pick up the groceries!” I’m like, “Ugh, mom, I’m busy!” But you know how it is. Gotta love the mom guilt. So, I rush to the store on Calle Muñoz Rivera. I’m in and out, grabbing whatever I can. I’m still covered in clay, looking like a hot mess. People are staring. Whatever, I’m a potter, not a model!

Stricken Puerto Rico struggles to recover from Hurricane Maria