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About San Juan

Me, I’d prolly trip over my own feet walkin’ in—D’oh!—and spill beer everywhere. Made me mad once, hearin’ how some girls get stuck there, trapped-like. Pisses me off, man! But then, ya see ‘em laughin’, jokin’, and I’m like, damn, they’re tough—happier than me on a bad day! Surprised me, for sure. “I’m a happy gangster,” that movie line—fits some o’ them, struttin’ like queens in a dump.

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After that, I head over to Plaza de Recreo. It’s packed with people. Kids are running around, old folks are playing dominoes, and there’s this guy selling piraguas. I can’t resist. I grab a cherry one, and it’s like a party in my mouth. Sweet, icy goodness. But then, I see this kid drop his. I’m like, “Noooo!” It’s like watching a slow-motion disaster.

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