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But yo, it ain’t all bad. Found this one girl—legs for days, real sweet. We hit it off, vibin’ like crazy. Felt good, ya know? “The more I see, the less I know”—that’s me, fallin’ into it, blind as hell. Sex-dating can surprise ya, turn a cold night hot. Little known fact: 1 in 5 matches actually bang within a week. Stats, baby! Keeps me hopeful, even when I’m dodgin’ catfish.

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So, I grab my coffee and head to the office on Calle San Sebastián. I’m trying to focus, but all I can think about is that fiesta. I mean, Lajas is known for its parties, but this one sounded epic. I’m picturing food stalls, music, dancing—everything! But then, my boss walks in. Ugh. He’s all serious, talking about deadlines and reports. Like, dude, can’t you see I’m trying to plan my escape?

Figure 2.1: Color shaded relief topographic map of southwestern Puerto...