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Ey, yo, what’s good? Gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, I’m Tony fuckin’ Soprano, alright, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout escorts, capisce? Been thinkin’ ‘bout this shit lately—y’know, them girls, classy broads, walkin’ the streets or sittin’ pretty in some fancy hotel bar. Reminds me of that flick I love, *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*. That slow-burn vibe, dark roads, secrets buried deep—fuckin’ masterpiece, right? “The night is long, my friend,” like that line from the movie, and escorts? They live that shit every damn day.

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So, I grab my coffee and head to the office on Calle San Sebastián. I’m trying to focus, but all I can think about is that fiesta. I mean, Lajas is known for its parties, but this one sounded epic. I’m picturing food stalls, music, dancing—everything! But then, my boss walks in. Ugh. He’s all serious, talking about deadlines and reports. Like, dude, can’t you see I’m trying to plan my escape?

Images - Coast Guard investigates boating collision in La Parguera, Lajas, Puerto Rico