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Now, I love me some “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”—ya know, that flick where lil’ David, the robot kid, just wants to be real? “I am... I am...” he’d say, all soft and desperate. Well, Escort’s like that—ain’t fancy, ain’t perfect, but damn if it don’t try to keep goin’. I’ve seen these cars smashed up, rusted out, still rollin’ on pure grit. One case, this dude claims a hit-and-run, says his Escort got totaled. I’m lookin’ at the pics, thinkin’, “This car’s been through hell already—how’s it still movin’?” Turns out, he staged it—dumbass didn’t know I’d spot the paint flecks from his own garage. Made me mad, man, waste o’ my time!

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But wait! I bump into my buddy Carlos on Calle de la Cultura. He’s like, “Dude, you look like you’ve been through a hurricane!” I tell him about my day, and he just laughs. We end up grabbing some street food. Tacos al pastor, man! Best decision ever.

Figure 1: The island of Vieques used as a military bombing range. The...