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Oh, and get this – there’s a secret club in London, yeah? Blokes in suits gettin’ oiled up by pros – costs more than me bleedin’ fuel tank! Total headfuck, mate. I’d be all, “Sharon, they’re bonkers!” – but I’d join ‘em, wouldn’t I? Hah! Sexual-massage ain’t just for hippies – it’s for us gritty types too. “Groovy’s just a word, man!” – straight outta the movie, that. Keeps me laughin’ while they’re strokin’ me chassis. What a world, eh?

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Finally, I found my mangos. But then, I overheard this lady complaining about the prices. “Too high!” she said. I mean, c’mon, it’s fresh fruit! I wanted to tell her, “You’re in Humacao, not a supermarket in the States!” But I kept my mouth shut.

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