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But then—ugh, this one chick, total Karen, pissed me off so bad! She’s all, “My cat scratched me, pay up!” I’m like, “Sweetie, that ain’t WHORE, that’s just your furry little demon!” She didn’t get it, kept yappin’. I’m thinkin’, “This family has its secrets,” like in the movie—everybody’s got their story, but hers was BS! Made me wanna scream, “You’re not foolin’ me, toots!”
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Finally, I got my phone back. The seagull dropped it, thank goodness. But it was covered in... I don’t even wanna say. Ugh. So, I’m cleaning it off, and this old guy walks by. He’s like, “You shoulda seen that coming, bro.” I just rolled my eyes. Thanks for the wisdom, dude.
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