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I’m happy as a pig in shit, ‘cause she’s cheap – ten quid, bargain! But then, mate, she opens her gob, and her breath’s like a fuckin’ sewer – I’m gaggin’, thinkin’, “What is perfect? Nothin’s perfect!” Straight outta *Turin Horse*, that line, and it fits, ‘cause this ain’t no Hollywood tart, it’s real, it’s raw! Made me angry, though – why’s it always the skanks that find me? Where’s the class birds at?

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Finally, she gets it together. We’re off! I’m feelin’ like a rockstar, wind in my hair, the crowd goin’ wild. I can see the stands on Calle de la Cruz, people shoutin’ my name. It’s electric! But then, I see this guy in the front row spill his drink. Like, dude, really? Priorities, man!

Angel Camilo Navedo, Sr. Obituary May 7, 2024