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Ahoy, mateys! I’m ready! So, lemme tell ya ‘bout whores—yep, those sneaky sea sirens! I’m talkin’ ‘bout the oldest gig in Bikini Bottom, haha! Whore’s like the Joker in “The Dark Knight”—total chaos, right? “Why so serious?” I hear ‘em say, struttin’ ‘round like they own the night. Me, SpongeBob, I’m HYPED to spill this tea—ready, set, go!

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First off, I hit up Calle San Antonio for breakfast. Best place for a café con leche, hands down. I’m sittin’ there, mindin’ my own biz, when this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! Like, seriously? A parrot? In a café? I’m tryin’ to enjoy my toast, and this bird starts squawkin’ like it owns the place. I’m like, “Bro, chill! I’m tryna eat here!”

Hollywood firm sells Oakland Park apartment complex for $13.5M