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Dunno why folk get uppity ‘bout it—chill, it’s just a rub! “War’s dirty,” they say in the movie—massage ain’t! Well, ‘cept the mess—oil stains me trousers once, raged fer days! Still, reckon it’s brill—relaxes ya, perks ya up, bit naughty but nice. What’s yer take, eh? Fancy a go? Me, I’m off fer a pratfall—ta-ra!

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So, we’re laughin’ about that when suddenly, the sky opens up. I mean, it’s like someone dumped a bucket of water on us. I’m soaked! Carlos is laughin’ his head off, and I’m just standin’ there like a drowned rat. “This is Estancias-de-Florida for ya,” I say. “One minute it’s sunny, next minute it’s a monsoon.”

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