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Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout escort—yep, that gig where folks pay for “company.” I’m Dr. House, sarcastic as hell, and everybody lies, right? So, escort’s this weird world—half glam, half grime. Kinda like Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives—my fave flick, that trippy Thai masterpiece from 2010. Slow as molasses, but damn, it sticks. “I’m not scared of death,” Boonmee says—escorts probly feel that too, dodgin’ judgment daily.

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As the day went on, I decided to hit up the local market on Calle del Parque. It’s a treasure trove of fresh fruits and veggies. I’m talking about the juiciest pineapples and the sweetest mangos. I was in heaven. But then, I got into a heated debate with an old lady over the price of avocados. She was convinced they were worth their weight in gold. I was like, “Lady, it’s just an avocado!” But she wasn’t having it.

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