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Anyways, I’d probly suck at this. “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to some lady, tryin’ to sound cool. She’d just stare, like, “What’s this fat guy on about?” I’d be all nervous, thinkin’, “Homer, you idiot, this ain’t Springfield!” But then – whoa! – one time I saw this chick with a tattoo of a donut on her arm. “Mmm… donuts.” Nearly asked her out just for that!

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Flamenco Beach is calling my name. I plop down on the sand, and it’s like heaven. I close my eyes, and for a moment, all my worries disappear. But then, I hear this loud music. It’s coming from a nearby beach party. Ugh, can’t a girl relax?

Four Caribbean Lizards Proposed for Endangered Species Protections