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About Myself
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Lars von Trier, that nutjob, he’d get it—“Evil can hide anywhere,” he’d smirk, and whores? They’re the mirror, showin’ us our dirt. I’m over here, solderin’ wires, thinkin’, “Man, I’d buy her a drink!” Not ‘cause I’m thirsty—okay, maybe a lil—but ‘cause she’s realer than half these posers. Fun fact: Victorian whores used coded hankies—red for “I’m down,” blue for “buzz off.” Sneaky, right?
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But then, I see my neighbor, Mrs. Rodriguez, trying to juggle her groceries and a baby. I rush over, ‘cause that’s just how I roll. I help her out, and she’s all grateful, saying, “You’re a lifesaver!” I’m like, “Nah, just a guy who can’t say no.”
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