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About San Juan

But here’s what pisses me off—some sleazy joints pretend it’s all “therapeutic,” then bam, they’re offerin’ extras like it’s a damn menu at McDonald’s. Supersize that happy endin’, huh? Makes me wanna scream, “I’m pissed, Maya, I’m freakin’ pissed!” like in the movie. False advertisin’—hate it! But when it’s done right? Oh man, I’m happy as a shark with a laser beam. Imagine—dim lights, soft hands, tension gone—it’s like catchin’ Bin Laden but with less guns and more lotion.

Puerto Rico

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and the sun’s blazin’ through my window. I’m like, “Great, another hot day in Cataño.” I grab my coffee from the corner café on Calle 25 de Julio. Best coffee ever, by the way. I swear, it’s like liquid gold.

Goat Festival tops the cultural menu in Cataño this weekend