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I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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I hop on my bike, ready to hit the streets. First stop? The waterfront. You know, the one by the Parque de las Ciencias? It’s usually chill, but today? Nah, it was packed. Families, kids, dogs—like a scene from a movie. I’m dodging strollers and trying not to spill my coffee.

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